As a rule, wisdom is believed to be an element of aging and many of us tend to listen to our parents believing in their life experience which presumably allows them to give very sensible pieces of advice to their offspring. Yet, it is crucial to analyse the things our parents and other people of older generations are giving to us and not to believe bluntly in their words.
First of all, the fact someone is older than you does not mean this person is necessarily wiser than you. Everyone has their own life, experience and personalities. Some people are making one type of decisions and they work perfectly for them whereas for others the same thing will not work. Also, not everyone is learning from their own experience and mistakes and this is not an exception for people who are older than we are.
On top of that, even the wisest people of older generations who genuinely love us and wish us to be happy might not be aware of the way the modern world is functioning. They might simply lack necessary knowledge, but anyway some of them believe they can still give some recommendations.
Be careful especially with the following pieces of advice which can be heard from our parents particularly frequently.
Recommendations to marry and have children
Needless to say, many parents of adults wish to get back to the time when their children were young. This is impossible so they are waiting for the time they become grandparents. If this does not happens, some of the parents are willing to accelerate the process by constantly pushing their children into it. There are even parents who are ready to become grandparents even though their own children have just finished school. Needless to say, there are also people who are waiting for their children to marry anyone they are currently seeing whether it is a serious relationship or not.
There is can also be pressure on the children who are in a relationship however is not planning to marry or even worse, are already married but not planning to have children. Some parents might be even less patient recommending their children, especially daughters to leave their partners if they see it takes them too long to get married.
If you understand what is better for yourself without any external help, you will be able to filter such recommendations even though they might seem rather annoying. Still, it might be more simple to manipulate other people and they can really make some serious decisions because others expect them to do it. This is where you should really protect your own happiness and well-being.
Recommendations to stay patient and bear all the difficulties in the relationship
You might have heard from wise and experienced people who are older than you that the most crucial part of a relationship is patience. You will not be able to keep a relationship alive if you are not ready to bear another person.
Everyone is different even if partners believe they really match each other perfectly. This means you will experience a lot of conflicts and sometimes periods might get really difficult. Of course, getting through these things can make your relationship stronger. Yet, the crucial thing here is the search for a compromise. This might not be necessarily an option of your dream, but this is the best possible one for both of you under some particular conditions. This is a compromise, albeit, it is not the same as bearing each other.
You might need patience for a difficult period in your lives, however, this word can hardly be applied to another person. The aim of a good relationship is making it comfortable for the both partners which of course will include a lot of negotiation. Respecting your own needs as well as the needs of your partner is important, yet, tolerating each other, ignoring problems, hiding your real pain and suffering from each other in order to move on together will only help you to stay together, yet the price for it is the happiness.
That is why the recommendation to always agree and do things the way want is also not a good one. This is the life of both of you and both of you have a right to decide. Again, negotiations and ability to listen to each other are crucial. Blind obedience is not normal.
Recommendations about life changes
Some parents are very afraid of changes and they will stop their children from them even though it will make their children really unhappy. A popular example is a parental recommendation not to change work even if you are really suffering there. They just believe you are supposed to keep it because it is better than not having anything. It can become even more complicated for them to understand the changes if you suddenly decide to change the entire profession.
The same goes for plans of their children to move out abroad.
You should always listen to your own feelings and choose what you know is right for you, otherwise you are risking to live an unhappy life.